June Cleaver. Carol Brady. Proverbs 31 woman. Thanks for making this mom thing seem near impossible as I walk across an unidentified sticky mess on my kitchen floor.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m a pretty cool mom. I take them places, make them laugh, watch movies and shows with them that I have absolutely no interest in at all, and all the other basic mom stuff. But some days, I still wonder if I’m doing this mom thing right.
When it comes to my story, I find myself trying to overcompensate for what my childhood looked like. I never went on vacations. I’ve never been on an airplane to this day. I remember going out to eat one time as a full family in my 18 years of being with my parents. And that’s just the material stuff. Although my parents were absolutely a blessing and I loved them dearly, their drug addictions caused them to neglect us at times. I felt very out of control and like a burden. I promised myself that my children would NEVER feel that if it was the last thing I did.
I’m definitely not saying that my motivation is a bad thing. I believe my childhood gave me a passion for my kids that I may not have had otherwise. But what I did for many years was put unreal expectations on myself. I exhausted myself some days to make sure my kids were happy and fulfilled, when I was left feeling tired, and the kids would have been fine either way. To this day, I find myself sometimes feeling like if I don’t get them out of the house, or find activities to do, I’m being lazy. Their love for electronics makes me feel like others will judge. Let’s be real, they will judge regardless, and I’m finally coming to a place where I just don’t care!
I can’t control what life throws my way. If my body is sick and I need to lay in bed, then I need to lay in bed. A happy, healthy mommy benefits my kids more than an irritable, resentful one. Us moms need to take care of ourselves and THAT’S OK!!
God revealed to me 2 things that changed my life as mother as well. The first being I just couldn’t understand how my own mother could make the mistakes she did now that I have my own babies. God showed me recently that in her state of mind, she was doing the absolute best she was capable of. I’m not saying that it’s ok to use drugs or anything to that nature, but there was so much freedom, forgiveness, and insight to my mother’s heart knowing that revelation. It’s SO easy to judge when for all we know, that mom is giving all she has.
The other revelation was God gives you the grace to handle what you are supposed to handle at the time you are supposed to handle it. For example, I heard a lady tell a story that her 23-year-old son was on a motorcycle traveling the USA for fun. Well, with my 3 sons being 5 years old and under at the time, I was in a mini panic attack thinking about it. How could she be so calm? Well, it’s simple. God gave her the grace to handle it, but he didn’t give me the same because I was and still am in the nurturing, protection stage of motherhood. If my 8-year-old jumped on a Harley right now, I definitely would be stopping that! However, one day, they will be grown, and God has a plan for each of them that I believe He will give me the grace to handle. They are His children on loan to me, and if I stay close to Him, I may not always get it, but I’ll be at peace.
We moms need to stop beating ourselves up. We need to stop COMPARING ourselves to others. We need to stop letting the flash and sparkle of others’ social media posts blind us to the fact that even that mom has her moments. Do you know some of the major ways the devil attacks our mind? With guilt, shame, and condemnation! If he can bring guilt, he can torment you. If he can bring shame, he can isolate you. If he can bring condemnation, he can deceive you. And deception is opposite of the Truth, which is Jesus Christ, in whom which there is NO condemnation. Boom.
Moms, you rock. Period. Here’s to giving life, sticky floors, cleaning boogers, less bladder control, and coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. 🙂