Have you ever been annoyed at someone because they are just good at everything? Or maybe someone got the position that you wanted? Suddenly, everything they do gets on your nerves. “Look at the way she walks in and thinks she owns the place.” You may even deep down hope they fail. Well, I have some news for you.
You may just be a hater.
Look, I know what you are thinking. “ME?? I’m no hater!” But just hear me out. A hater is someone who either wants what someone else has or may just want to be “top dog” and feel superior to that person. I can be completely real in saying I’ve been a total hater before, and I have to check myself sometimes even now!
My personality and temperament likes to be the center of attention so I really have had to allow God to humble me in that area over the years. There’s been times I’ve been passed over for ministry opportunities that were given to people who may have even been at the church less time than me, and suddenly, I’m hating on those people. Or when I’m insecure about my weight, that’s prime opportunity to hate on the friend that may be losing weight or is naturally thin. Ok, I still have a grudge against the naturally thin ones, but Jesus is working on me continually.
We all have moments of hating. It usually breeds from one of the tools I think comes from the devil called comparison. As soon as we take our eyes off our own unique, individual, God-designed plan for our lives and look to someone else’s with the intent of measuring it next to ours, it’s a recipe for disaster. It’s one thing to look to someone to aspire to be like them or be encouraged by one’s journey, but it’s another to try to be “better” than that person or allow discouragement to come from their successes. What works for them may not work for you. And most successful people have paid a price to get to where they are and have worked hard for it. People want what others have but aren’t willing to put in the work it takes to get there. That’s a big one.
I believe insecurity is also a major factor in the hating department. When you are insecure about your own abilities, walk in life, looks, career, family, etc., it’s easy to hate on someone who has it “better” in your eyes. There’s a saying, “misery loves company,” and I believe insecurity does too. It’s hard to see someone confident in who they are when you are not. The funny thing is the person you think “has it all” has their own insecurities and issues as well. People may even be hating on YOU for your own abilities that you find to be not good enough, when in reality, they are highly valuable. That’s the blinding power of insecurity.
So how do we fight against this hater mentality? Well, first of all, we need to see that we are uniquely set apart and designed for a purpose. God knew what he was doing when he made you, so stop trying to be like someone else. You have a calling on your life, and God equips you with the talents and abilities necessary for the job. He gives you what you need so stop striving to have someone else’s calling.
Number two, we need to learn to celebrate others’ successes and triumphs. They deserve it. Who knows, your love and encouragement may speak volumes to them and propel their journey. Wouldn’t it feel good to know you had an impact on someone else’s life?
Also, we need to realize that hating on people has happened since the bible times (Cain and Abel ring a bell), and I can say with confidence, it’s not going anywhere until Jesus comes back. You are not perfect and will fall short, but that’s when you look inside yourself and allow God to fix the issue at hand. Don’t beat yourself up. Brush it off and move on. And when people hate on you, pray for them. Most likely they are going through one of the above mentioned issues. Kill them with kindness. It’s the best tool to use and it confuses the crap out of them. It’s kind of funny to watch.
So next time you can be humble enough to detect a hater mentality, remember to check your own heart. God wants to use YOU because He created and loves YOU. He adores each of His children and has no favorites. There’s no need to hate on others when you fully grasp that. We are all on an equal playing field.
Haters gonna hate, but haters can also learn to celebrate. Yes I made that last part up. 🙂