I might be having a mini identity crisis.
Ok, maybe I’m being just a little dramatic with the whole crisis thing, but do you ever sit and wonder, who am I? What is my place in this world? What am I supposed to do with my life and where in the world do I start?
I feel like in my 30’s I am having these thoughts at times myself. I know my identity is Dana, Christian, wife, mother, friend, etc. But I wonder what is my purpose in this life? I have passions, but how do I achieve such big dreams when I don’t have doors necessarily flying open for me?
I adore my job as wife and mother, but I also know I’m called to be more than Joey’s bride or Noah, Blake, and Levi’s mommy. I’m made to leave an impact on this world in some capacity. Don’t get me wrong, the greatest calling I’ll ever have is to my family, to raise future men of God and to walk alongside my husband in this journey. But I also know I am meant to go beyond that.
It’s hard when you are passionate about something to sit and wait on God at times. My natural go-getter flesh wants to jump up and act! “If I’m going to do this, I’m going to do it now and with all I have!” I look back at times that I thought I was “ready” for something God spoke to me about, and honestly, I was a big hot mess with a dream. I’ve realized that God sometimes gives you a preview of your calling and a passion, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s at that moment. He wants to refine us.
Waiting sucks. There’s no other way to say it, and I’m sorry if that’s not very classy, but it sucks. However, I will say in those moments of waiting, I’ve learned more from God than ever. Trials and hard times most definitely teach us a lot. If you look back at moments that you’ve really had breakthroughs with God, chances are some kind of hardship took place. The waiting seems long, and I’m in a waiting period right now, but God loves a good “suddenly.”
I want to encourage someone who is wondering where they belong in this world and is in a waiting period to stand firm. We all have a passion that can glorify God. Whether your heart goes out to the homeless or you love to sing, it’s usually something that grows and grows over time. It’s a hunger that God placed in you on purpose because you are needed. Someone needs you and what you have to offer.
I also want to encourage someone who thinks that they don’t have the right “connections” in ministry to dream big. I did not come from a line of preachers and I find myself wondering at times, where do I even start? God is the only “connection” you and I will ever need! His favor opens doors that man cannot explain or shut. Anointing will always trump privilege.
I believe my calling is to women. I believe I’m meant to share my story and to encourage them. I believe I’m meant to speak at conferences and to multitudes. I have been prophesied over, confirming this very passion multiple times. It’s kind of scary, I’m not going to lie! But I have to trust God even in my times of insecurity and identity crisis that what He promised and put in me will come to pass in due season. And because of that, my identity is secure in Him.
This blog I full heartedly believe is going to be a stepping stone to whatever God has planned for me. It’s very exciting to feel like this could be the beginning of everything I’ve ever wanted to do in ministry. But in that, I have to block Satan’s attempts to make me feel insecure when it’s not happening in my timing. I can’t “get ahead” of God. Where God is moving, Satan is not happy and will try to distract. I have to stay focused.
There’s something you and I can take courage in. We may not know what our future holds, but we can be fully confident in who holds our future. 🙂