There’s no shame in my game.
I’m not saying I’m never ashamed of my actions, but I try to be a pretty open book and throw shame out the window. I’m tired of watching Christ-followers walk around ashamed. Not necessarily ashamed of the gospel, but ashamed of what life has thrown their way.
I used to be so scared to talk about issues I had happening in the present moment. It’s easier to talk about past struggles, the issues you got “under the blood,” although people deal with shame in that area too. But it’s incredibly humbling to talk about stuff you are dead smack in the middle of. There’s a lot more vulnerability that comes with that.
I recently took off the veal, so to speak, when it came to my marriage. I came from a very legalistic background where the church easily judged my husband and I. We had the all the symptoms of a hot mess couple. We were extremely young, came from crazy childhood/teenage home lives, and my husband became an addict early on in our marriage. We were told we would never work, I should divorce him, I should have married a pastor, etc. I quickly decided not to ever share my struggles and instead hide them. I learned to deal with them myself. That was a mistake.
I believe you need a couple of strong believers in your life who are for you succeeding (this is extremely important) and can be an ear to listen and a heart to minister to you. When you hide in quiet and live ashamed, it’s an open invitation for Satan to run havoc in your mind. The enemy is so good at what he does. He gets you to believe you need to hide and stay quiet. Then in worship, he makes you feel like a hypocrite. “Who are YOU to praise God?!” Suddenly you feel guilt, because shame and guilt go hand in hand. And before you know it, you grow further from God because you are deceived into believing you don’t deserve to be His child. Well, NONE of us deserve God, but He is so full of mercy and grace. His Holy Spirit dwells in you and guess what? That means you have ALL authority over the deceiver, Satan. You think the devil doesn’t know that? But he certainly tries to make you think the opposite!
I believe you have to be careful about getting too many opinions in your situations. Like I said you have to find people who are for you and also are tuned in with God. It’s definitely something to be prayed about. Some people may have their heart in the right place but could still steer you wrong, or they may just flat out love hearing that you are failing. Sadly, misery loves company sometimes. This is why it’s crucial to listen to God’s voice. He will give you peace over who you can trust.
I’m not ashamed to admit I still struggle today with moments of ugliness. I can be impatient, angry, and prideful. I am still healing from body and self worth issues, although I’ve had a lot of progress lately. My marriage is not perfect, nor will ever be. We still are working through hurts and differences, and quite frankly, there are days I want to give up. But I keep going. And I’m no longer ashamed to say any of this.
My ministry and my passion is to see women break free, and if I have to put myself out there, completely transparent and vulnerable in the process, so be it. You can judge me all you want. God is giving me a thicker skin by the day to handle it. Not everyone will be for me succeeding, but to the ladies that are touched by God through me in the process, it’s 100% worth it.
I challenge you today to let your shame be undone. God will not only heal you from it, but He will restore those broken pieces in your heart. Isaiah 61:7 says,
“Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion…”
This says you will have double what you had before, meaning life abundantly! He’s so good. We go from ashamed to double portion, just because He loves us so much. Shame is NEVER from God. Now feeling convicted of doing wrong is different, but shame leaves you feeling hopeless, where correction leaves you feeling determined.
Know that nothing you’ve ever done or are doing can separate you from the love of God. There’s also nothing anyone else could have ever said or done to you that determines your worth in the eyes of Jesus. You are His masterpiece, broken and all, and there’s absolutely no shame in that. Ever. It’s time to take off the “mask” and live free.
“I’ve tasted and seen of the sweetest of loves where my heart becomes free and my shame is undone.” -“Holy Spirit” by Kari Jobe