I never dreamed I would have 3 kids, let alone 3 boys. I had the All-American mindset, one boy, one girl, and maybe a dog. When the second, and especially third baby ultrasounds revealed 2 more boys, I realized my dreams of matching mommy/daughter outfits and Disney princesses were coming to an end. But the funniest thing happened. It was like I suddenly joined this elite club of moms, full of poop jokes and monster trucks. I even got a new title to add to my name.
I, Dana Vanicek, am a proud Boy Mom.
I absolutely love being the queen of this crazy castle. I love being the lone female amongst boys that adore their mommy. I take my role as their teacher and nurturer very seriously. I want them to know that they can do anything they put their heart and mind to when they have God by their side. But I’m also fighting against a society that speaks tempting lies in their ears everyday.
Somewhere down the line, it became cute and cool to call guys, even little boys, “pimps” and “players.” It’s actually a term of endearment, one that celebrates them. It means they are admired and esteemed by many, especially women. Well, when you look up “pimp” in the dictionary, this is what you will find:
“A man who controls prostitutes and arranges clients for them, taking part of their earnings in return.”
I’m not trying to be one of those super-offended women on the internet who takes offense to every and any thing, but this is something I am passionate about. A man who CONTROLS PROSTITUTES? Someone who is known to beat and degrade women to the point of selling them like they are cheap animals? I’m sorry, but where in that is a man who should be celebrated?
Yet, with women, the terms “whore,” “slut,” “she gets around,” etc. are termed as negative things. “What’s up, slut?” would probably not be received well. Why is this ok then for men? Why is the standard of men in this world so much lower? Why is the virgin man mocked and the virgin woman celebrated? I’m not AT ALL saying women should be called whores or not be respected for being a virgin. I just believe it’s time for the standard to be raised for BOTH genders.
I am fighting to teach my boys to be gentlemen who break the mold. I not only want them to open doors for others and have good manners, but I want them to boldly stand up for what is right. I want their label to not be about others’ perception of them, but God’s. I want them to see that women should be respected and valued, not counted as notches on their bedpost.
I’m getting real here because I’m tired of seeing what the world views men as. I may be a woman but I have my heart at stake here! And the world capitalizes off what they think of these men as well! I am a 100% heterosexual female, but even I find myself staring at the jumbo images of women in lingerie at the mall. I can’t imagine these boys who are just hitting puberty or men who struggle with lust because of divulging into the deception that “this is just what men are wired to do.” It’s almost insulting that the world deems men as walking, talking horn dogs. That’s not the way God intended it to be.
My prayer for Noah, Blake, and Levi Vanicek is that they are bold, courageous men of God who stand up in the midst of this ugly world and say, “I choose to be different.” I pray they will be known for their hearts for God, their talents, their abilities, and their character. I pray their label not be “pimp,” but “powerful.” I pray that even when they fall, they will know they can always get right back up. I pray that when others ridicule and hate on them that they know that it’s because deep down, those haters wish they had the courage to be like them. I pray they see themselves as they do as children, warriors of Christ, superheroes for their own families, and fearless against the giants they face. I pray they bring others to know Christ along the way, and that they can mentor others to be gentlemen alongside them. And I especially pray that when it’s time for them to nurture and teach their own children, they model and teach this same behavior, whether they have sons who will walk in their images or daughters who will marry men like themselves.
My boys will make their own choices in this life, but it’s my mission to do everything I can to set them up to be different. This world is DESPERATE for men to stand up in the role they were called to walk in. This world needs more leaders, not followers. This world needs more gentlemen in a society that mocks them.
And this world needs more mommas who were blessed with the privilege to raise these men to pray and act like never before. Us Boy Moms have a calling too, and it’s time for us to raise the standard.