Dana Does Grown-Up #girlproblems

I thought in my 30’s certain girl problems would go away.

Think again.

In fact, the same old problems exist, AND new ones came to life! There’s this fun little thing that happens in your body called hormones! Yes! You cry at commercials, yell at random strangers, wake back up some nights like you have a newborn baby again, gain weight that is more stubborn than my 4-year-old, forget why you walked into a room to begin with, and a whole lot more unwanted body and mind-controlling shenanigans that you never knew you hated.

Oh, and who knew that moms could be more catty and judgmental than high school girls? One mom does only organic food and no sugar, so she turns her nose up at my kid’s Little Debbie cake. One mom co-sleeps, while the other doesn’t. One mom homeschools, while the other is against it. I used to homeschool, and when I would tell other moms, many of them would give me all the reasons they couldn’t, kind of like they assumed I would judge them for not homeschooling as well, which was far from the case. But that’s what moms do. They either judge other moms, or cringe in their own fear of judgement. It’s like the movie Mean Girls, but Regina George has 3 kids and a minivan.

Speaking of relationships with other women your age, it gets extremely hard to maintain those in adulthood. Do you know how hard it is to schedule around my own kids’ crap, let alone ANOTHER family’s activities? It’s like, “Hey! We really need to get together!” means, “Maybe in a month or so, I’ll consider meeting for coffee, if I don’t forget in the midst of my chaotic life or talk myself out of it in exchange for Netflix and no bra.” I miss the days of sleepovers with my BFF’s! You know, the ones with prank-calles, giggles until 5 AM, and acting a fool without judgment? Nowadays, overnight stays without the family usually are scheduled out a year in advance or include the occasional ER visit. Totally not the same.

And don’t get me started on body changes. Things start to droop like an epidemic. Yoga pants are multi-billion dollar industry for a reason. They forgive you. They accept you. They grow with you. Denim does not have the same compassion. It’s mean. It reminds you when you’ve skipped the gym too much. And it’s not buttery-soft, cotton goodness. It’s just not.

Girl problems never go away. But in saying that, I truly love being a girl! I believe God gave me all boys for a reason. I am the lone female, full of estrogen and cute shoes for days. I never have to compete for my queen status or the boys’ attention around this place. I am told by all the guys in here that I’m the prettiest girl in the whole world, and that never gets old.

We women may be a complicated species, but at the end of the day, we were created to show the beauty and splendor of our Lord in heaven who is head over heels in love with his daughters. Boys may be physically stronger, but we are the glue that holds everything together. Moms can find stuff that no dad or child can. Women have intuitions greater than the FBI. And we do it all with exquisite eyebrows to boot.

Girl problems may be present forever, but that’s ok. At the end of the day, things could be way worse. I may have to deal with judgy moms and loose skin, but it’s better than being a stinky, hairy boy any day. Yes, at 31 years old, I said stinky, hairy boy, and I’m not sorry about it.

So, girls, raise your Double-Shot Pumpkin Spice lattes, and toast to the problems that we face daily and the ability to laugh at them and ourselves. We will take on #girlproblems and this world, one hormonal-induced day at a time. 😉

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